(Like how I self edited there? Yeah, you totally get that I meant shit, but shite is more dignified...or something...screw it, I just realized I hadn't blogged in ALMOST a year. A FRIGGIN YEAR)

New things:
- Matt's dog still wants me dead (I'm sure of it)
- Today I was introduced to my new favorite word: Redicunt (definition: its so ridiculous, its cunty too...)
- My husband trolls craigslist for wood...(firewood, you gutter minded a-holes)
- I actually suggested that Matt create a personal ad on craigslist - man seeking wood, must be flammable and can fit in my Escape
- Also, tonight I learned the difference between a mosquito and a mosquito hawk through Matt's interpretive dance...I cant make this shit up
- I got entirely too upset with Turbo Tax today...like, Gary Busey level upset. I threatened to pull its endocrine system out.

There's more, but that should suffice for one posting, you information-seeking hounds!

I shall leave you with two things: a) a conversation between Matt and I tonight; and b) THE BEST AUDITION FOR A PORN EVER

Conversation:
Me: Hey, wanna have sex on the couch?
(Matt walks away all happy with a hop in his step, turns around and sprints back to me)
Matt: Um...when you say 'sex on the couch', do you mean NOW or later? Because I need to
know when to take off my shoes...
(I then laugh so hard its impossible to even consider it now)

Porn Singing Auditions:

I'm not sure if I should be impressed or deeply saddened by how many people don't know the words. Oh, and you, Mr. Creepy-wanna-be-Chris-Farley, I'm definitely into you. I seriously am pre-ordering this from Amazon...or Pornazon, whoever gets it first.

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I'm not gonna lie, Megan Fox is a fox (you see how I did that? I took her last name and used it as a commonly used adjective to describe her! I'm a genius!). Seriously though, bitch is hot. And here she is working on a new movie, because that's what working actresses do in Hollywood.

But as I'm looking at these pictures (Thanks Tyler Durden!) I notice an ominous creeper in the rearview mirror. Does anyone else think ol Chester the Molester there looks a bit Spielberg esque? (side note: spell check TOTALLY has Spielberg in its dictionary, who knew?) Maybe he wants to ask her to do a movie...a private movie. Da dun chik!

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Ok, so personally I'm not that big of a chick flick fan, but something about this trailer makes me want to get out and see this movie. Sure, the end will inevitably be the two girls realizing their friendship is more important than a stupid wedding and we'll all cry and hug and feel fuzzy, but I'm more attracted to the hijinx this film promises. I also might really want to see it because Kate Hudson looks more like her mom than ever and I miss those good ol days of her in comedies...Anyone else intrigued?

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